Matchmaker, Matchmaker
by NamidaYami
Summary: Yusuke-kun has a new evil plot, setting Hiei and Kurama up! Yaoi K/H
1. Chapter 1: Rabid fangirls and evil plots

A/N: this is my first fanfic so please review.x^~^0  
  
Matchmaker, Matchmaker by Sessha  
  
'I've been searching for a man  
All across Japan  
Just to find to find my samurai  
Someone who is strong, but still a little shy  
Yes I need I need my Samurai'  
~butterfly by NAOKI  
  
Urameshi Yusuke sat in Genkai's temple with the Reikai Tantei and Co. however, there was the notable exception of Hiei and Kurama. Precisely why they weren't present was because this meeting was concerning some VERY touchy issues.  
  
"So, I guess we should review the facts first; a) Kurama likes Hiei. b)Hiei likes Kurama, but being Hiei would never admit it. And c) we have to do something, because they keep Looking at each other during missions and are going to get them selves killed if the keep it up!" Yusuke had started his speech calmly and ended up yelling at the entire room.  
  
"Anou.Yusuke-san? Could you not yell while you're in the temple?" Yukina asked timidly.  
  
"eehhh, Hai, Yukina-chan.gomen."  
  
"Urameshi, do I REALLY have to be here?" Kuwabara Kazuma asked totally disturbed at the thought that the 'shrimp' could be 'with' ANYONE.  
  
"Yes, Kuwabaka.er. Kuwabara, we'll need you for my plans." He said with an evil smirk with the snickering to go with it. Everyone sweatdroped and moved away slightly.  
  
"So, what IS your plan, kid?" Kuwabara Shizuru asked, taking a break from her ever present cigarette.  
  
Yusuke did a double take, swaetdroped and then flashed a piece sign. "Umm. I haven't quite figured it out yet! But, I do know it'll involve something along the lines of. everyone starts putting the moves on Kurama and making Hiei jealous!" Yusuke yelled genki-ly flashing another piece sign.  
  
"Yusuke, did you just make that up on the spot?" Botan asked calmly.  
  
"WHY, YES.Muhuhahahahahaha.!!!" Yelled Yusuke throwing his hands in the air.  
  
"URRRRAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSHHHHIIIII!!! I'm NOT gay, there for I shall not, as you say put 'the moves' on Kurama.it's just wrong!" Kuwabara stated emphatically.  
  
"Otouto, Yusuke never said you had to be gay, He just said to ACT like you are interested in Kurama.can't say I mind his plan, I mean getting to flirt with HIM." Shizuru trailed off and then started to giggle madly.  
  
"OK.Shizuru has a crush on Kurama, do you realize the only person we know who would be more than an infant to Kurama would be Yomi and even that's just barely. It's.odd to say the least." Koenma spoke all eyes on the godlying.  
  
"But, they look sooooo KAWAIIII together!" Botan shouted everyone turned to her. "eheheheheheh."  
  
"So.any suggestions?" Everyone stared blankly. "OH, C'MONE someone HAS to have something we could do." still blank stares. "I guess not." Shizuru said. "I pathetically enough like Yusuke's idea."  
  
"OK so, I guess will use Yusuke's plan." Koenma said.  
  
"K-k-koenma-Sama you're in favor of this?" Botan asked obviously concerned.  
  
"Well, if it will keep those two alive I'm in favor of it." Koenma stated firmly, then started sucking on his pacifier rabidly.  
  
"So, it's all settled tomorrow we go to the movies, Botan flirt with and sit next to Kurama." "WHY HER???" Koenma and Shizuru yelled in unison. For MUCH different reasons, but still everyone turned to stare at them. Koenma blushed bright red and Shizuru just ramble on about 'why valley girl blue haired grim reapers' shouldn't be allowed to flirt with bishonen silver kitsune youko reincarnations that now have the sexiest red hair in all of Japan. At this point everyone eyebrows were to their hairlines.at least. "eheheh." Shizuru finally noticied everyone was staring at her and sweatdroped. "Well, he is hot and the only reason I say anything or make a move was I don't fancy the idea of Hiei's 'Jaoa Ensatsu Kokkuryuu ha' chasing me down."  
  
"So basically what you're saying is YOU what to be the one to flirt with Kurama?" Yusuke asked, getting over the shock of Shizuru being a rabid Kurama fangirl. "HAAAAIIIII!!!!" Shizuru yelled super genki-ly, causing everyone to fallout anime style. "Fine ya know I really don't care just whoever does flirt with him has to be obnoxiously suggestive about it." Yusuke said losing his patients with the whole thing. "As I said tomorrow we go to the movies and SHIZURU will flirt with and sit next to Kurama." Koenma and Shizuru both looked happier, the thought on everyone's mind was 'why the hell would Koenma care?!?!?'. "AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!!!!.... I GET TO FLIRT OBNOXIOUSLY WITH KURAMA!!!!" Shizuru then continued to giggle madly like a rabid fangirl.  
  
"uhhh.Right.So, I think we should go to Lord of the Rings, since the whole hobbit thing will piss Hiei off even more." Koenma suggested in a 'listen to the demigod' voice. "I just want to know." Koenma continued. "WHERE are Kurama and Hiei, if walk in and see us planning to set them up.Well, I don't wanna think of what will happen.after all Kurama used to be a heartless kitsune youko, he might let Hiei kill us just for a good laugh." Said Koenma practically inhaling his pacifier.  
  
"Koenma-sama, I really don't think Hiei-san and Kurama-san would act that way." Yukina said quietly.  
  
"Kurama I don't know about, he doesn't seem the type to go on a mass killing spree.but.but.That SHRIMP is capable of anything!!!!" Kuwabara yelled at the top of his lungs.  
  
"Hiei-san doesn't seem all that bad to me, he's always been so nice to me." Yukina spoke timidly.  
  
"Ofcourse Yukina-san, no one thinks Hiei is that mean." Botan spoke through clenched teeth.  
  
"ANYway, to answer your question, Koenma. I told Kurama that you said there was an under cover Reikai Tantei mission and that since it was under cover, he should take Hiei to get some Ningen clothes and I sent Keiko to go with them to make sure they don't come back here.MUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!" After finishing the evil laugh Yusuke once again sat calmly in his seat.  
  
"Well, Yusuke, if Hiei gets mad he could easily kill Keiko and he can hold his own against Kurama. And I'm quite sure shopping isn't Hiei's list of things to do in the millennium!" Botan said.well.yelled.  
  
(at Keiko's house)  
  
Yukimura Keiko walk out the door only to find a note pinned on it, which read:  
  
'Dear Keiko,  
  
I've gone to look for Hiei. I think it was a mistake to tell him we were going shopping, he ran off after I said the words 'Ningen Clothes'. I'm sorry, I should probably check Genkai's Temple first, Hiei might have gone to see Yukina. I'll call you around noon (it's 10 now).  
  
Gomen Nasai,  
Kurama'  
  
Keiko read the note and noticed it was written in incredibly good hand righting, did a double take, paled, blanched, screamed, and ran to the temple, very afraid of what might happen if Kurama and Hiei walked in on the 'secret meeting'. (somewhere in a tree in south Tokyo)  
  
"I really should have asked for directions BEFORE I ran out of Kurama's room as fast as my feet could carry me!!" Hiei cursed himself. Of course it wasn't his fault he didn't know right from left in Tokyo. 'It's just the whole concept of Ningen clothes scares me so.' he thought and continued his mad dash to the temple.  
  
Feet below he saw Keiko running frantically and desided to fallow her hoping it would lead his to the temple. A few minutes later he felt Kurama's Youki behind him. 'Oh, no. You're not going to catch me this time, fox.' He thought and doubled his speed.  
  
'Well, if you're going to be THAT way about it, I swear Hiei you act like a totelar sometimes.' Kurama thought and then thinking of the only Ningen clothes that would fit Hiei would be toddler clothes with little teddy bears and the such on it. While Kurama himself would enjoy seeing that he didn't think any of his friends would live after even the slightest smile.  
  
Kurama smirked then started to laugh, the mental image of Hiei in a teddy bear shirt. About a mile away Hiei sensed it and tried if possible to go even faster, then suddenly noticed Keiko had disappeared. "OH! SHIT!!! Why in all the seven hells me???" Hiei had stopped then noticed Kurama only a few feet away. "OK change of plan. Who gives a damn about Keiko, I'm going to run from Kurama." Hiei said making a very sharp turn and causing Kurama to fall from the tree he was in.  
  
"Well, damn.why do you have to be this way?" Kurama muttered rubbing his head where he hit it on his fall. 'Note to self: Never ever race against Hiei again! It's bad for my health.guess I'll go to the temple anyway, he'll end up there in a couple of hours.' Kurama got up, brushed himself off, and walked calmly to the temple, ignoreing the people's stares at the red-haired boy that just fell from a tree landing on his head and the many girls screeching "Minamino-san! Daijobu ka?" At the top of their lungs.  
  
Meanwhile, Keiko ran frantically, trying to make it to the temple before Kurama and Hiei.  
  
A/N: Yaaaaayyy! The first part of my fanfic is done! *does happy dance* Reviews are loverly, and if you don't review I'll lock you in a room with a drunken, horny Yomi who thinks your Youko Kurama.MUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Ja Ne, Minna-dono ~ Sessha x^_^'' 


	2. Chapter 2: Yusuke has some power over th...

A/N Apparently people like my ficy sooo; I'll make another chapter...YAYYYY!!!!! ....orrrroooooo----- oh yes, I forgot to put a disclaimer in the last chapie. So, here it is-  
  
Disclaimer: *chibi sessha floating around in the air, hearts and shojo-ish bubbles included* Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't own anyone in my fanfic (hence the term FANfic), so PLEASE don't sue! (x^_^0)  
  
Matchmaker, Matchmaker by sessha  
  
Chapter 2  
  
'Well, I guess my life isn't completely over' Keiko thought as she arrived at Genkai's temple and started counting shoes[1]. 'If Hiei and Kurama ARE here I think I'll run and pretend I don't know anything about this!!!' Seeing only six pairs of shoes, Keiko deemed it safe to go into the main room of the temple. "Phew.. Thank God! I did not want to think of what would happen if they did see this." Keiko whispered softly as she walked in to the room the others were in.  
  
When Keiko saw the scene unfolding all she could do was stare.  
  
"URRRRAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSSHHHHHHIIIIIII!!!!! HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT I HAVE A 'THING' FOR THAT SHRIMP!!!!!!!!!!" "Well, Kuwabaka it would make sense. I mean, seeing as how you're always so mean to each other. Ya know, they say that's classic misdirected affection." Yusuke choked out from the head lock Kuwabara had him in.  
  
Keiko finally got over her shock and alerted the rest of the room to her presence. "HELLLOOOO...." every one stared at her. "Kurama and Hiei are on their way here right now!!" She said, then promptly passed out.  
  
"Wow, Keiko's really heavy." Yusuke said as he caught her. "umm.... Yusuke, I think we have other things to worry about." Koenma spoke in a completely traumatized voice.  
  
"Really? Like what?" Yusuke was apparently very clueless to what Hiei would do if he caught them. "LIKE TRYING TO STAY ALIVE!!!!" Koenma screamed at Yusuke threw his pacifier.  
  
"Why would we be worried about that?" Okay, so Yusuke was completely clueless and he was the creator of this plan, that couldn't be good. "He's gonna get us killed! My father's is gonna kill me...my life is over...good bye life....." Sadly it seemed that Koenma couldn't take the pressure of secret meetings.  
  
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh huuuuuuhhhhhhhh......" Shizuru commented. "But, Koenma's right. We should probably start thinking of a good excuse, ne?"  
  
"We're trying to think of a good birthday present for Kurama?" Botan suggested. "That's good, Botan, just one problem." Yusuke said. "What's that?" "WE DON'T KNOW WHEN KURAMA'S BIRTHDAY IS!!!!!" It would seem Yusuke had lost his temper.  
  
"Well what kind of friends are we then?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"THE KIND THAT WANNA STAY ALIVE" Yusuke screamed. "I've already died twice, I know what it feels like and ya know what? IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!!" Yusuke then went on to ramble about the way your bones snap when your body is crushed and other lovely things like that.  
  
After about two minutes of listening to him there was a collective "eeeeewwwwwww, that's disgusting!"  
  
"Well, you know Yusuke, I've been to Hell and it's quite nice this time of year." Everyone stared at Koenma. "What? It is you know. Not too hot, not too cold, just perfect! It's one of the most popular vacation spots in all the realms combined. Kurama and Kuronue once had a hideout there (well, that's what my father says anyway), lucky dogs." "But Koenma-sama, both Kurama and Kuronue are Kitsune Youko! They'd be foxes!" Botan corrected. "It's a figure of speech. Get a dictionary, Botan."  
  
"SO IS 'SHUT UP'" Yusuke yelled. Oh yes, our young reikai tantei had indeed lost his temper.  
  
"May I ask precisely what everyone is doing here? Is there some type of meeting, did I not get some note?" There were a number of reactions to the soft alto voice they all heard, including but not limited to twitching, blanching, cursing in many different languages and simply staring in to open space and singing the pokemon ending theme [2], Until finally Yusuke jumped up in one last effort to save himself from the demon's wrath and yelled at the top of his lungs "SURPRISE!!! Guess we can't get anything passed you!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!"  
  
"Demo, Yusuke-kun, that's very nice of you but, my birthday not for nine months yet." Kurama was very understandably having some trouble with the idea of ALL of Reikai Tantei and Co. (excluding himself and Hiei who was in a tree somewhere in south Tokyo) meeting at Genkai's temple for an apparently very important meeting.  
  
"ehehehehehehehehe" Was all Yusuke could say. Then, to make matter worse a chorus of "It's all Yusuke's fault" was heard. Now he may have just been imagining it but, Yusuke could swear Kurama's eyes were golden when he asked, in a very annoyed tone. "What exactly is, quote-unquote, all your fault, Yusuke-kun?"  
  
"That moron was trying to get the others to agree to helping him set you and Hiei up." Genkai answered when she walked in and guessed at why Yusuke was looking at Kurama with utter terror in his eyes.  
  
"S-s-she's wrong!! It's the weather in New York that's all my fault." "Not including what madness would even make you think such a thing, what in Inari-sama's [3] name would make you try and set me up with Hiei?" Kurama asked, it seemed are favorite Youko was in denial.  
  
"Well, you know what?" Kurama asked, Yusuke feared the Youko had now completely lost it. "eeheheheh, what?" "I THINK IT'S GREAT!!!! Hiei's just sooo bishounen.........ehehehehehe...." Needless to say, at this point Kurama's face matched his hair.  
  
"So, I guess Yusuke's not dead after all!" Shizuru said. And thus Kurama conspired with Yusuke, Shizuru, Botan, Koenma, Yukina, Keiko, and Genkai. And poor Hiei has no clue of his fate at all.  
  
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Meanwhile in teletubbie land  
  
"WHERE THE HELL AM I......AND WHY ARE THERE DEMENTED THINGS WITH SILVER STOMACHS DANCING AROUND ME????????" Oh, dear. It seems our vertically challenged koorime fire youkai with tree eyes is very lost.  
  
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A/N: I would like to thank everyone who reviewed me and no kisaru-chan, I'm only threatening people who don't review. And yes I know there are errors but XP Microsoft Word is evil dammit! Oh, and to radical_rune, Kurama cusses and Youko Kurama cusses quite badly, also thank you for the suggestion about Japanese words. Here's a translation of everything-  
  
baka = idiot/stupid/moron gomen/gomen nasai = sorry/ I'm sorry kawai = cute ningen/Ningenkai = human/human world makai = literally Hell but usually means demon world reikai = spirit world reikai tantei = spirit world detective -san = someone you respect -sama = someone you really respect -kun = usually referring to a male that is younger than yourself -chan = same as -kun but for girls bishounen = pretty boy kitsune= fox youko = to the best of my knowledge it mean pure bred demon youkai = half demon koorime = ice maiden  
  
Also here are the foot notes-  
  
[1] Its a Japanese custom to take your shoes of in the house  
  
[2]The Japanese Pokemon ending theme is the most goddamn annoying song ever and my friend said at one anime convention she saw someone just staring in to space and singing it for no reason.....yeah.  
  
[3] In Japanese mythology Inari is a silver fox god/goddess (has no set gender).  
  
Well, I think that's all, tell me if it's not! Thank you again oh, R&R, if you don't I am still threatening to lock you in a room with a drunken, horny Yomi who thinks your are Youko Kurama if you don't!  
  
Ja mata minna-dono ~sessha (x^_~) 


End file.
